Stop Passing The Mashed Potatoes
Some of my most vivid childhood memories happened around the dinner table.
It was the one place where our family came together, no matter what was happening. But even as kids, my brothers and I could sense when something was off between our parents.
You could feel it in the air—the unspoken tension.
We were aware, but no one ever talked about it. No one ever recognized it.
Instead, we were told to pass the mashed potatoes and move on. Talk about anything but what was really happening. So, we did.
We kept passing the mashed potatoes, pretending everything was fine when it clearly wasn’t.
Looking back now, I realize that as leaders, we sometimes do the exact same thing.
We know when something’s off. We can sense the tension, the burnout, the quiet exhaustion building in ourselves and our teams.
But instead of naming it, we brush it aside, hoping it’ll resolve itself if we just keep pushing forward.
We pass the metaphorical mashed potatoes.
We fill our schedules with more meetings, more to-do lists, hoping the busyness will drown out the discomfort.
We tell ourselves it’s just another season of stress and that if we keep going, it’ll all settle down eventually.
But here’s the truth: when we refuse to acknowledge the underlying tension, the pressure doesn’t disappear. It builds.
Slowly, quietly—until it starts to chip away at our capacity to lead, to connect, to care. And that’s the exact moment when our leadership starts to suffer.
So, how do we stop passing the mashed potatoes?
We need to create space. Not just space to catch up on emails or finish another project, but space to expand within.
Space to breathe. Space to feel. Space to acknowledge what's really going on beneath the surface—both in ourselves and in those we lead.
Because here’s the thing: leadership isn’t just about handling tasks; it’s about handling hearts.
And if we’re constantly pretending everything’s fine, we’re not just lying to ourselves—we’re missing the opportunity to truly lead and connect.
It’s not easy.
But the most impactful leaders are the ones brave enough to lean into the discomfort.
To pause. To look within. To lead not just with their minds, but with their hearts.
So, today, I encourage you to take a moment. Be brave enough to stop pretending.
Lean into the discomfort. It matters more than you know.
As always, I’m here rooting for you. We’re in this together.
If you don’t remember, I’m Caleb. I help leaders expand within and create the capacity needed to perform at their best and reclaim their well-being.