How Hiding My True Self Cost Me My NFL Career… And What I Learned From it

I remember the pressure like it was yesterday.

Standing in the Kansas City Chief's locker room, staring at the jersey hanging in my locker, knowing I was on the edge of losing it all.

And it wasn't because I lacked the skills or the drive—I was struggling with something much deeper.

The truth is, my biggest challenge in the NFL wasn't a performance issue; it was a capacity issue.

I was so consumed with maintaining the image of the person I thought I had to be that I had no energy left to commit to who I actually was.

Every day, I invested everything I had into holding together that facade, leaving nothing in the tank to fully engage with my teammates or the game.

As a result, I didn’t have the bandwidth to commit the way I needed to, and it cost me.

It wasn't until years later that I realized what had really held me back: I was operating with an emotionally bankrupt account.

And here's the thing: many leaders today are facing the exact same challenge.

It's easy to look at the numbers—dwindling engagement, lower performance—and think the problem is motivation. But it's not.

The problem isn't a lack of effort; it's a lack of capacity.

This makes sense when you think about the rapid change, limited resources, and the relentless noise of expectations and pressures leaders and employees face today.

Obviously, the job still has to get done, so we double down on our willpower and white-knuckle our way through life, eventually leaving us with the type of exhaustion we feel deep in our bones.

And, when our emotional resources are depleted, it undermines our ability to flourish in every area of our lives.

Sure, we, or our employees, might be in the office or at the desk, but we're not emotionally committed.

We can’t afford to be, because there's nothing left to give.

I'm saying this because most leaders think that in order to get the results they want, they have to max out their capacity and the capacity of everyone around them.

And, it works—until it doesn't.

The secret to rising to this challenge isn't about demanding more or pushing harder—it's about expanding within.

When we learn how to expand within, we create the mental and emotional bandwidth needed to grow through these challenges while reclaiming the well-being lost along the way.

The truth is, leaders and teams, who learn to expand within will find an edge that others miss.

They’ll discover a sustainable way forward that doesn’t just survive uncertainty—it transforms it into an opportunity for greater expansion.

So, here’s my challenge for you: Take a moment today to check in—not just with your team, but with yourself.

What small shifts could make a big difference in how you show up, lead, and inspire?

I suspect you might already know what they are.

As always, I'm rooting for you. We're in this together.